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THOUGHTS OF A HOT CHICK: How to (and NOT) Get Her Digits - Anytime, Anyplace By Lisa Kalayji You know you’ve tried every trick and strategy in The Stud’s playbook: the come-hither stare, the cheesy but charming pick-up line, the cocktail from "that guy across the bar", the "accidental" double date, the would-be interested conversation about that magazine she’s reading, the unsolicited compliment, and the list goes on. Sometimes it works, but sometimes you crash and burn uglier than a 747 piloted by a chimpanzee, and you’re left with no black box to tell you where you went wrong. The truth is, the rules to getting a woman’s number - and other things - are fairly simple. You just have to understand where she’s coming from, and how you look from her point of view. Here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind the next time you step into the cock pit. 1) Don’t be creepy. If she’s a woman, you’re not the first stranger to hit on her, and if she’s a very attractive woman, you’re probably not the first today. Be prepared to meet with some resistance, because she’s done this dog and pony show before. Make her feel comfortable with being approached by you - be casual and relaxed so that she can be relaxed too, and if you can make her laugh, BIG bonus points (but only crack a joke if you’re comfortable doing it - if funny isn’t part of your normal repertoire, it’ll be obvious, and rather than making her laugh it will make you both uncomfortable). 2) Don’t lead up to the approach by staring for half an hour. Women can just about always tell when they’re being checked out - be aware that she’s probably on to you, even if she never once lifts her eyes from her laptop or looks away from the gal pal she’s chatting with. Extended staring before you start talking to her will make her want to talk to you less and less the longer it goes on, so once you’ ve decided she’s cute enough that you want to talk to her, quickly decide on a game plan and get down to it. Which leads us to #3… 3) Have some idea what you’re going to say before you approach her. Nothing is sadder, or more awkward, than a guy who comes up to hit on me without knowing what to say. You’ll also want to have a back-up topic in mind if the first one doesn’t fly. For example, if you walk up and try talking to her about the movie she’s eyeballing in the action section at Blockbuster and she gives you a one-word answer, you won’t have three minutes to figure out what to say next before she walks away (probably rolling her eyes). Think about this beforehand. 4) And don’t make your plan of action a pick-up line. I don’t care what your older brother tells you - they’re lame. They might pass if the woman you’re dealing with is one who is out hunting for a man to play with, but if she’s not out looking for a dose of testosterone, a pick-up line will be tantamount to wearing a sign around you neck saying "Attention All Women: Retreat As Quickly As Possible". 5) And last but not least, everyone’s favorite, the most obvious and most difficult - don’t look scared. If you act nervous, it will be a HUGE turn-off, and will probably blow your chances even if you do everything else right. Smile. Relax. Make eye contact, but don’t stare. FLIRT. Many guys, when they’re nervous, will execute #1-3 perfectly, but will do it with stiff shoulders, a stern grimace, and a tone of voice more befitting a job interview than a casual encounter with an attractive woman. Chill out - the right demeanor will get you farther than anything else you say or do, making her feel comfortable and intrigued rather than awkward and irritated. She didn’t leave the house expecting a formal interview, so don’t stick her with one. If you’re not Rico Suave, it may take some practice to get cozy with approaching women you don't know, but keep these guidelines in mind and you’re sure to walk away with a few entries for your little black book. |
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